 Posted: Thu 14:45, 29 Aug 2013 Post subject: abercrombie Relationship Failures Revisited |
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| Relationship Failures Revisited
In my capacity as abercrombie an outpatient psychologist, I deal with relationship moncler pas cher issues every day. The most represented are male/female couples, but increasingly same gender couples show up, presenting with the same dynamic problems. Couples start out friendly and the experience of "relating" is novel. It is fun, dynamic and very stimulating. This sustains couples for a hollister france couple of months. Usually, around the third month, "things" settle down a little, and by the sixth month, there is something of a routine. It is about at this time that couples notice things about each other that they do not like. Usually, this surfaces around an event or activity, jordan pas cher but more and more this annoys the other person, just a little a first, more later. If couples do not "neutralize" this trend, trouble will ensue. Tensions will build and sooner or later an argument, or worse, will occur. It is at this time that each partner must communicate. Most couples will say something about what is the problem, and most of the time this will suffice. If the couple continues to communicate, this trend will not be much of a problem because each partner resolves the tension as it occurs. Stressors resolved at this incipient level are the easiest to fix, and continued adherence to this www.achbanker.com/home.php practice helps ward off blowups down the road. Failed relationships are the ones that do not pay attention to this experience. Couples who "bury" their feelings, or ignore them or just go to the gym to "work them off" are heading down the "dark side." Trouble awaits those who do not "process" their feelings in a healthy, and preferably sooner-rather-than-later manner. As a psychologist, I have identified two essential components of communication. They are Articulation of Process and Validation. Communication occurs in levels. The things we talk about; that is, hollister the issue at hand occurs on the superficial levels. I call that content. It is the event or thing about which we address each other. This is verbal and comprises only about ten percent of what is actually communicated. The other ninety percent is what hollister france I call process. Process is non-verbal and includes the tone, volume, speed of the spoken word, body language, etc. Most of what is really communicated between two people is at the process level. To articulate the process means that we hollister uk put into words and out-loud describe or say something about what we otherwise would not. In other words, we use vocabulary to describe our process, not just our content. For example, if I am angry, I say so, using a synonym of anger. I don't just relay on my angry face to convey I am angry, I say it, using a word that means the same as angry. The second part, validation, occurs when my partner puts my louboutin ideas into their words, and does so at both the content and process levels. In other words, my partner shows understanding of what I said, not just about the "issue" (content) but also about how I am feeling about it (process). My partner does not hollister france have to use my exact words to paraphrase me, just communicate that my hollister pas cher two levels of communication were, in fact, understood. The effect of completing both sides of this communication is that I feel relieved and honored. I have expressed myself and have been heard. Notice that this does not mean my ideas were accepted as true. My partner may feel I am full of beans, but s/he had the presence of mind to hear me out and validate my experience(s) at both levels. This lowers my tensions. Now, my partner can reciprocate because s/he will undoubtedly have their own perspective(s). They will hopefully speak about their reactions and thoughts pertaining to my issue, and do so at both hollister sale the content and process levels. I, in turn will listen, then put their ideas and feelings into words, thus relieving their tension and honoring their experience. This is a just a thumbnail of the complete process of getting along in relationships. For more information, read my ebook, entitled, "Why Relationships Fail," which can be found at my website. -Dr. Griggs. 相关的主题文章: hollister sale Wedding Chapel Las Vegas, A Sure Be moncler pas cher PPC Services- How To Increase Vis peuterey outlet Choosing Blog Web Hosting Themes F |
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