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Posted: Wed 14:20, 25 Sep 2013 Post subject: abercrombie Difficult Conversations - The Conversa |
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Clives company ClearWorth specialises in bespoke manager, leader and team development around the world. Clive lives in the UK and France and works all over the world in 26 countries [url=http://www.mxitcms.com/abercrombie/]abercrombie[/url] in the last 10 years from Ohio to Oman, London to Lagos, Surrey [url=http://www.maximoupgrade.com/hot.php]hollister france[/url] to Syria. Clive thinks, teaches and writes about negotiation, influence, interpersonal relationships and cross cultural communication.
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Conversations make things happen in business. These conversations might be meetings, email interactions, telephone conferences or chance corridor or water cooler discussions. What they all have in [url=http://www.1855sacramento.com/woolrich.php]woolrich[/url] common is their purpose. Some conversations have a purely social purpose but the primary focus in business is about achieving objectives. Business conversations are there to solve a problem or make a decision. Professor Charles Margerison's outstanding work in the study of conversations has developed the concept of a mental model or map which helps people notice where a conversation is and provides pointers to what to do next to move it to a more useful place. The two primary axes (in the way that we use the map in ClearWorth) are General v Specific - Noticing whether a contribution is being made in general or specific terms. [url=http://www.achbanker.com/home.php]hollister[/url] Problem v Solution - Recognising whether conversations (or contributions) are [url=http://www.vivid-host.com/barbour.htm]www.vivid-host.com/barbour.htm[/url] focussed on what the problem is or potential solutions. These two axes provide a classic 2x2 matrix which creates the basic map. Negotiators, leaders and communicators skilled in Behavioural Intelligence get used to picturing where the conversation is as they hear a contribution:- "There's a bit of an issue with transport" - (General/Problem) "I wonder if we should consider sending someone to help" (General/Solution) "We're 10 minutes behind schedule" (Specific/Problem) "OK - go and book alternative transport for the group" - (Specific/Solution) With the current location in mind - the skilled conversation controller decides whether to keep in that quadrant or do something to move to another more useful one. "There's a bit of an issue" (General/Problem) "What exactly is the extent of the issue at the moment?" (Specific/Problem) The third dimension of the map is the tense that the conversation is being held in 'Past, Present or Future. This is a more difficult dimension to picture but the skilled practitioner learns to notice when the response is from a different time slice to the question. When we work on team building programmes we often ask a question like "What are the implications of that for the way you need to work together?" This is a Future/General/Solution question. It's interesting to note how often the answer comes from a different place, for example "I don't think we did as well as we had hoped" or "Well what worked well was..." - Both answers come not from a Future/General/Solution focus but somewhere else. Unless one or other of us moves we would not be able to have a conversation because [url=http://www.davidhabchy.com]barbour sale[/url] we're in different timeframes with a different focus. A husband and wife conversation like that would go:- "Did you have a nice day?" "I'm not sure I'll be able to complete that report tomorrow" Not a prescription for a harmonious relationship - more like a sign they're not listening to each other. In Behavioural Intelligence the skills centre around making conscious choices about what to say or do next - and the Conversation Control map is an invaluable guide to help you stay on track.
Professor Charles Margerison's book "I Wish I'd Said..." and his outstanding work in the study of conversations has developed the concept of a mental model or map which helps people notice where [url=http://www.1855sacramento.com/peuterey.php]peuterey[/url] a conversation is and provides pointers to what to do next to move it to a more useful place. The two primary dimensions (in the way that we use the map in ClearWorth) [url=http://www.rtnagel.com/airjordan.php]jordan pas cher[/url] are General v Specific - Noticing whether a contribution is being made in general or specific terms. Problem v Solution - Recognising whether conversations (or contributions) are focussed on what the problem is or potential solutions. These two axes provide a classic 2x2 matrix which creates the basic map.
Skilled negotiators, leaders and communicators use Behavioural Intelligence to instantly picture where the conversation [url=http://www.rtnagel.com/louboutin.php]louboutin pas cher[/url] is as they hear a contribution:- "There's a bit of an issue with transport" - (General/Problem) "I wonder [url=http://www.achbanker.com/home.php]www.achbanker.com/home.php[/url] if we should consider sending someone" (General/Solution) "We're 30 minutes behind schedule" (Specific/Problem) "OK - go and book alternative transport for the group" - (Specific/Solution). With the current location in mind - the skilled conversation controller decides whether to keep in that quadrant or do something to move to another more useful one. "There's a bit of an issue" (General/Problem) "What exactly is the extent of the issue at the moment?" (Specific/Problem)
The third dimension of the map is the [url=http://www.mansmanifesto.fr/category/doudoune-moncler/]doudoune moncler[/url] tense that the conversation is being held in 'Past, Present or Future. This is a more difficult dimension to picture but the skilled practitioner learns to notice when the response is from a different time slice to the question. When we work on team building programmes we often ask a question like "What are the implications of that for the way you need to work together?" This is a Future/General/Solution question
It's interesting to note how often the answer comes from a different place, for example "I don't think we did as well as we had hoped" or "Well what worked well was..." - Both answers come from somewhere other than the Future/General/Solution quadrant. Unless one or other of us [url=http://www.maximoupgrade.com/hot.php]hollister[/url] moves we would not be able to have a conversation because we're in different timeframes with a different focus. A husband and wife conversation like that would go:- "Did you have a nice day?" "I'm not sure I'll be able to complete that report tomorrow" Not a prescription for a harmonious relationship - more like a sign they're not listening to each other.
In Behavioural Intelligence the skills centre around making conscious choices about what to say or do next - and the Conversation Control map is an invaluable guide to help you stay on track.
Submitted : 2011-05-29 00:00:00Word Count : 963Popularity: Not RatedTags: influencing skills, negotiation skills, influencing style, stakeholder management, getting buy in, strategic influencing, behavioural intelligence, decision making, managing meetings, communication skills
Difficult Conversations - The Conversation Control Map
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